One of the most prominent subject matters in music is love. It is a powerful thing as we all know. We have all experienced it in some form or other. Good or bad. Nice or nasty. I was at a low point in my life, where I had put in effort after effort with women I had been with, or had nearly been with. I had experienced highs, don't get me wrong; but I'd also experienced lows. And the lows hit me quite hard.
The depression began after a long term relationship spanning three years ended. I ended it. For a year I had tried to keep the momentum going, tried to keep it interesting and special. But to no avail. I would call her (as the relationship was long distance), and she would say she was busy everytime. I should have guessed, but it isn't easy to admit to yourself, this ain't going anywhere. Anyway the split took me a while to get over - a year to be precise. I was becoming more content with everything, until a bomb shell. I had a dream where she had been having sex with another man, and in this dream the man was provoking me over the telephone. I woke up, feeling horrible and sick. I told her all about it. Didn't hear for a week. Didn't think anything of it. Why would I? Then I received a text 'I need to tell you something'. I logged onto yahoo messenger whereby she proceeded to tell me all about it. Her cheating. Over the phone, with another guy. I was hurt. What was worse though, was the cheating had been going on for a year. When I was with her. During the times I was calling and being declined. When I was trying and it was being pushed away. I was hurt and become quite depressed.
Years later, I am in campus, drinking juice and meeting the present lady at the time. She begins, but I already know where this is going. It has been a week. One week. And already. 'This isn't working' she said. Here we go. We discuss it. As we depart amicably she exclaims 'u can write a song about me!', with humour written all over her face. I don't think she is aware I took her up on her advice.
I needed an outlet. The ex who cheated on me still affected me greatly. And so I did write a song, which turned out to be one of the most therapeutic solutions to my problems. Based around the Kelly Jones album 'Only the names have been changed', where he sings about women in each song, and how dirty and nasty some can be, was central to the song I have written. Kelly Jones used fake names; whereas, I did not. I wanted the song to be as honest as possible. The structure of the song is girl 1 and 2 are nice, and the things that happened were out of my control, but they were nice people; girl 3 is the cheater, and 4 the prat who said I should write a song.
Vixen - Part 1, 2, 3, & 4
Heather, you were the first
Opened my heart, showing it love,
You moved away, so far
To the other side of the world,
Amy, were tempting me?
Flattering me with your eyes?
I'll never know, I never knew,
I lay in bed, thinking about you
A bitch after saint, who only fucks with you brain
Day and night, day and night,
Every foot step you take, everyone morning when when u wake,
She's there, creeping around
Cecilia, who were ya?
Everyday u lied to my forgotten face,
You ruined me and the pain still stays,
But I'm stronger now and I'm glad u are gone
Emma, confused by those games that you played,
Please explain the rules,
Why move when your in the right place,
Why ruin what you wanted made,
A bitch after saint, who only fucks with you brain
Day and night, day and night,
Every foot step you take, everyone morning when when u wake,
She's there, creeping around
Its all fake, its all lies, there's nothing pure, nothing innocent,
The deceit, the cheating the one night stands, the winning that's all they understand,
That"s all they gave out
Written early 2007
Watch this space, for more stories about my songs
Wullae
www.myspace.com/wullaewright
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