'Why are there so many people in the world with the same fucking name!!'
Through my teenage years to the present day, the internet has been a vital part of my life. So many different significant parts of my life and lifestyles have been affected and sustained by the internet: from relationships to my lifestyle choices, etc. It has been a massive influence on myself, my generation, and continues to be.
One of the most beneficial uses for the internet - in my opinion, is the ability to keep in contact with lots of people you wouldn't otherwise be able to do with. Not only this, but the fact that you can search and find the people you have lost or forgotten about, until one day you remember them again. So many people I have remembered, and tried to search for.
The search: Stuart
One person I did continually search for over the internet for years after losing contact was my friend Stuart Carroll. Years, I'd periodically search for him: on google, bebo, facebook, myspace. I could never ever find him. Years, from around 2005 time. So one day on facebook in early 2010, I find an old friend, add him and browse through his friendlist. Flicker past the unknown names and faces, I rest my elbow on the desk in university. I had got bored of studying, and in the quiet area of the library, there was nothing to do but breathe, and even then, they would try and stop you doing that. Flicking through the names and faces I see him. Right there. Stuart. I added him straight away. Not long afterwards, we chatted and caught up. It has been magic doing so.
The search: Tina Thomas
I use to be on youtube around 2004-05, before I had the account I have now. I would post up political videos from the 20th century including videos on Che Guevara, Gandhi, MLK, JFK, Khrushchev, etc. I would converse with many other politically minded folk on youtube, but began a friendship with a lovely lady from Chicago, Tina Thomas. She has a warm heart and great soul, and is an inspirational person within my life. We would chat about all sorts, and particularly at this time I felt low and lonely, and Tina was a great friend to me. My account was closed down on youtube, and Tina had troubles at her end too. We spoke occasionally on myspace until she experienced problems there too. And so, from around 2007 until 2011 I periodically search for Tina. You have no idea how many Tina Thomas' there are in the world! So on facebook for instance, it was impossible. However, on Twitter, I got a message from a 'wind_parade'. It started 'Siggy?'. It was Tina. Since then we have chatted and hopefully this will continue.
The search: Kevin Curran
In college in 2005, I made a great friend by the name of Kevin. For that year in college we had the best laughs. We tried to create a new college president office, as we were against the college student president voted in that year. We argued with them. Put up propaganda posters about them. It was such a laugh. Kevin opened up to me and told me things he hadn't told others. And as the year progressed, he slowly got close to another friend and moved away to live with her and her man. We completely lost contact. However, this man lived much of his life over the internet, and so I thought it would be easy to find him. However, since 2006, I have periodically searched for Kevin, and I still to this day cannot find him. The search continues...
The search: Alan McKechnie
I hated working in that hotel in 2005. I had a huge verbal with the head chef (where I feel I fucking beat his ass!), hated the waiters as they were all aged 15 or under, and the manager was a fruitcake. However, there was one guy, one fucking gent who kept me sane. Who made me piss myself laughing in tears. His name was Alan McKechnie. This guy was a proper ladies man, and a lads lad. Totally genuinely great guy. I was very out of character at this time, dressed like a Communist vagabond and had done it to myself. Alan was so accepting. And when we went out a few times, he made me realise what I had lost. I was filled with admiration for the guy. He probably has absolutely no idea how big a kick up the arse he gave me. When I moved out of my mum's house a year or so later, I changed my appearance, lifestyle and attitude, and large parts of these were influenced by this man. However, when I left the hotel in 2006, I lost contact with Al. Again, like with Kevin, no amount of searching has allowed me to find him. The search continues...
So I wanted to write a song about this. About missing someone you lost, even when you didn't mean to or want to. The memories are great, and you think 'why do they have to be memories!?'. The web has allowed people to find those they cared about, from way back. I wrote the lyrics about this song listening to 'Codex' by Radiohead. It really set the mood I was looking for. The lyrics are inspired by the song too.
The riff itself however, is an old one. Written back in 2006, it was know as 'Liberation'. It was about leaders of the 20th century who liberated their own peoples'. However, I felt that the emotion felt in the music allow did not suit that subject matter, and so used it in 2011 for 'The Search'. It is my favourite Anonymous song, and means the most to me. The recording is great in my opinion and has a very old style of recording for me.
The Search
There are so many people I have abandoned,
So many faces I have lost,
I feel a quiet saddness,
Inside my thoughts,
I'd like to speak to you one last time,
To say goodbye, the way I should have,
To have one last moment, Ending on a peaceful silence,
Indistinguishable faces flicker past,
All the names their all the same,
And amongst the smiles and cuddles,
I don't see you, none of them are you,
You are that needle in a haystack,
And I can't find you, no I can't find you,
There is an emptiness,
I will continue to search for you
Written early 2011
The Search will, and does, continue...
Watch this space,
Wullae
www.youtube.com/wullaewrightmusic
Go to youtube to see an acoustic version done at home of 'The Search'
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